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Thread: Glupi i kratki vicevi

  1. #4651
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    Zet hirurg treba da operiše tasta.
    Tast:
    - Znaš, zete, ako ja umrem, moja žena će doći da živi kod vas...

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    Sell the Vatican, Feed the World!

  2. #4652
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    Izveo Željko Samarrdžić đevojku na večeru. I sad gledaju menije što će da večeraju kad uskliknu đevojka "e ja znam šta ću"
    A veli Željko: " Sta si to u MENU našla, moja tužna grlice?"

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  4. #4653
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    Udario narkomana voz. Na sahrani, drug drži govor:
    - Druže, sve si imao u životu, od igle do lokomotive...

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  6. #4654
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    - 'ajde, skidaj se
    - Ali, ja imam muža...
    - 'ajde, pa ćemo posle da se hvalimo ko što ima...


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  7. #4655
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    .


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  9. #4656
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    Sto je brze ili zec?

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  11. #4657
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    Kako se na hrvatskom kaže 'žena bez zuba'? - Gospa od škrbjela
    Svaki dan je dobar za upiranje.

  12. #4658
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    Žena vozača hitne pomoći rodila bliznakinje.
    Čašćava on kolege i kaže:
    - Dobili smo Tinu i Ninu.


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  14. #4659
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    Ovaj je dobar, mada je više crni humor


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    Priča mrav avanturu kad je naletio na golu ženu, veli: šetam ja po njoj, sve kao pustinja, samo neke obline, izgubih se, srećom nalećeh na neku šumicu, udjoh malo da se sklonim osunca, polumrak, jedva se što vidi, kad najednom neko me taknu po ramenu, ja se obrni jednom, niđe niko, opet me taknu neko, ja se obrni kad neki ćelavi ulazi izlazi, ja reko što je ćelavi, on ništa, ja ga udari, on i dalje ulazi izlazi ja ga opet udari, on me pljunu

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  18. #4661
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    Reče li mu mrav na kraju, ćelavi šta se pljuješ?


    Poslato sa ultra moderne pisaće mašine Note X
    ............ Ż\_(ツ )_/Ż.............
    -> Forma za naručivanje online stvari <-

    Bugi Vugi tapši Raduj se!

  19. #4662
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    ko zna, možda su se na kraju pomirili mravić i gla*ić

  20. #4663
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    Ovaj vic je stariji od mene, a ja sam blize 50 no 40 godina
    - Smrt fasizmu baba
    - I tebi sinko, i tebi

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  22. #4664
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    Mi mlađi, koji ga prvi put čujemo, kasnimo, ali kasnimo kvalitetno
    Svaki dan je dobar za upiranje.

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  24. #4665
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    Kako se zove nježno guranje prsta u goozicu?
    - Šuptilno.
    Svaki dan je dobar za upiranje.

  25. #4666
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    Quote Originally Posted by LjukaTheMantidis View Post
    Kako se zove nježno guranje prsta u goozicu?
    - Šuptilno.
    @goozica jel ovo tačno što napisa Ljuka

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  27. #4667
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    Otišao Mujo sa sinom u goste, kad će mali u neko doba:

    - Babo, đe je ta meza na stolu što si mi rek'o da ne diram!?

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  29. #4668
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    - Koliko mi vjeruješ?
    - Pa upoznala sam te s mužem...
    Sell the Vatican, Feed the World!

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  31. #4669
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    Otisla porodica iz Pljevalja na ljetovanje u Sutomore i dosli u hotel i sad krenuli da spavaju al ostavili otvorene prozore i upaljeno svijetlo pa im se skupili komarci i nagrdili ih. Ujutro kad su se probudili otisli na recepciju hotela da se zale kako su ih komarci nagrdili i ovi sa recepcije im rekli da ugase svijetlo u sobu i ajde oni poslusali ugasili svijetlo kad evo ti ih dosli svitci kroz sobu, kad najednom ustaje se otac i govori bjeste odavde evo ih nocas s lampama nagrdice nas ponovo xD

  32. #4670
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    Quote Originally Posted by Perovic Ognjen View Post
    Otisla porodica iz Pljevalja na ljetovanje u Sutomore i dosli u hotel i sad krenuli da spavaju al ostavili otvorene prozore i upaljeno svijetlo pa im se skupili komarci i nagrdili ih. Ujutro kad su se probudili otisli na recepciju hotela da se zale kako su ih komarci nagrdili i ovi sa recepcije im rekli da ugase svijetlo u sobu i ajde oni poslusali ugasili svijetlo kad evo ti ih dosli svitci kroz sobu, kad najednom ustaje se otac i govori bjeste odavde evo ih nocas s lampama nagrdice nas ponovo xD
    ...i ovaj je nedje iz sredine osamdesetih...

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  34. #4671
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    Idu obalom rijeke lisica i zet joj frizider.
    Noga se ne mogu drzat, omrceni.
    Lijo, lijo, zasto za vas lisice stalno govore da ste lukave, kad si ti jako dobra osoba?
    To je onaj gavran prosuo pricu, prica je da sam ga zajebala za nekakvi sir.
    Imas li vlaznu maramicu?
    Imam, na.

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  36. #4672
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    Napokon u skladu s temom

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  38. #4673
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    Svaka zena od covjeka moze da napravi milionera.
    Ako je bio milijarder.
    In rum we trust.

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  40. #4674
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    Ovaj vic sam cuo u Moskvi, kad sam bio prosle godine. Jedan covjek mi ga isprica dok sam cekao voz na zeljeznickoj stanici.
    U sumi je svako imao svoje zaduzenje, tako je lija bila mesicinska sestra, medo je bio domar, vuk elektricar a zmija je bila dama noci.
    Kako to u uredjenom drustvu funkcionise, svi su nakon radnog vremena bili opusteni i nesluzbeni i voljeli su da se skupljaju u sumskoj krcmi koju je drzao zeko.
    Skupe se za separe lija, medo i vuk i porucuju:
    Medo kaze ja cu medovine
    Vuk kaze ja cu Civas
    Lija je porucila krcag istine
    Gleda to sve zmija sa sanka, gleda ih kako se druze, kako obavljaju fine, casne poslove i kako im je banja, a nju tresu sumske zivotinje.
    Kako bih sad jedno 10 cevapa razbuca, jebba bih im majku.
    Lija onako gnjevna, dobaca sa sanka neku provokaciju usta joj se medo izbicova patos s njom ka na finish him posra se u nju i vrati se za separe kod ovih na lajnu vuk spremio i nacrta zeko gleda place

  41. #4675
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    Kupi lik kokosku i dao joj ime Koko. Nikako Koko da snese jaje kad joj jedan dan vlasnik zapjeva: ''A jaje Koko dzambo a jajeee?''.
    In rum we trust.

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